It’s a Blog…

January 21, 2008

I’ve decided to start a blog, because a) I’ve started one twice before and haven’t followed through with it, 2) because I love making lists that start with A and then move onto 2, and c) because I read so many other people’s blogs that I thought…why the F NOT! 

So, today I’m home with severe lower back pain that started on Saturday night.  And yes, I dare say it…I went to the chiropractor.  I’ve never really been to a chiropractor…Well, I take that back.  I went once and I’ve steered clear of them ever since.  Let’s just say it had to do with stripping down naked, an open backed paper gown, thong underwear, a strange man “chiropractor” manipulating my spine/rubbing my back, an appointment that felt like days, and all the while, my thonged bare ass hanging out the back of the gown in all it’s glory.  I even remember that in my desire to get the hell out of that office, I dropped $300 on “recommended” supplements that included ground pigs thyroid.  Boy am I lucky I’m not Kosher!

So, my day started with me calling around to chiropractors and physiotherpists in Ireland that would be willing to see me right away.  Apparently, I had put my freezing bare ass, and the thyroid supplements behind me.  With my husbands assistance I left the house like a toddler who’d just learned to walk.  He tied my shoes, helped me down the stairs as I waddled in pain next to him, he secured me, nice and snug into my car seat and sealed it with a kiss on the forehead. 

As is always the case in Ireland, the office appearance had a lot to be desired.  I have been to doctor’s offices over here that look like I’ve walked into an elderly woman’s front sitting room.  I’ve actually almost backed out of the door with the word “surgery” painted on the glass, aplogetically thinking that in my iPodian haze I actually might have walked into some poor old woman’s house.   I slowly eyeball the room, the stained crimson carpet, peeling wall paper, dust settling on the dated pleather chairs, and oh wait…there are some surgical instruments over there in the corner…wait, yes, this is a doctor’s office!  Right then, where’s my ass bearing paper gown?

As I waited in the once off white, now black-ish chairs, all I heard were screams, of OW! and OUCH! coming from the room with the door shut.  I looked at my husband weerily and said, “did you hear that?”  He looked up from his Blackberry with eyes a glaze, and said “huh?”, as if I just woke him from a deep sleep.  Damn Blackberry’s they’re always stealing my thunder!  Then, out of the door comes, Sir Bob Geldof and a Nun!  I’m not kidding!  The chriopractor, we’ll call him Dr. Pain, and a freakin’ Nun!  That was a Nun in there making all of those horrible yelps of pain! I expected her to light up a cigarette and look at Sir Geldof, I mean Dr. Pain, and ask, “was it good for you?”  You go Sister! Literally!  


12 Responses to “It’s a Blog…”

  1. Mr WordPress Says:

    Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

  2. Jo Jo Says:

    1) I am sorry to hear of you pain — back pain is the worst. I hope your chiropractor provided you some relief; and b) I am happy you started a blog. I am addicted to reading them, specifically the kind that tells the rest of the world how odd it is here in the land of Ire. So cheers to you. Keep writing!!! I’m reading.

  3. Greg Bulmash Says:

    Okay… and when do we get chapter II of the visit to Dr. Bob?

  4. Tad Says:

    Welcome to the blogosphere!


  5. tracy Says:

    oh my god…thats so great! so how was the treatment? how do you feel???

  6. falulasoup Says:

    Ok,…I have a few comments [titanic-esqe shocker, I know]
    1) I appreciate the fact that you started a blog. Now, I can always get the latest even on those very-rare days that I don’t actually speak to you on the phone.

    B) I find your style and voice absolutely delightful! Always have and probably always will. So, the more of it… well, it just suits me fine.

    3) I for one am a huge fan of Sir Bob Geldoff [and the Boomtown rats, although I have no particular dislike for Mondays and am enjoying today quite a bit, but it is a holiday… thank you DR. MLK JR.]– and I hope Dr. Pain has not killed your favor with Bob. Nuns… well, I could take ’em or leave ’em. I really have no response to the nuns. Although, Eric Idle, John Cleese and Terry Jones make particularly fine nuns in a number of very funny bits…I’m just saying.

    IV) $300 in pig thyroid supplements? Huh? WTF? and WDT? is about all I have for you on that point. — and P.S. – why were you wearing a thong when you knew you were going to be bare asses. Really,…Boy shorts …not bare assed.

    5) AND — I am with Tracy on this one…. HOW DO YOU FEEL? Did the treatment help your condition? {she says with an optimistic lift in her voice. . .}

  7. factgirl Says:

    Now you are an internet nerd like me! See ya at the Star Trek convention….


  8. Jessie Says:

    freaking awesome. although, I have to say that the ass-bearing gown and the odd situation don’t sound like any chiropractor I’ve ever been to… are you sure it wasn’t some sort of Thai massage parlor? I went for acupunture once and ended up (in addition to the needles) getting this strange massage from a little Chinese man, who then wanted me to pay extra for it. sounds a little like that… apparently that’s not what other people experience when they go?

    so how do you feel?

  9. Lisa MB Says:

    Yeah, how do you feel? Was the chiro better than his waiting room would suggest, or just as bad? I’ll assume you’re doped up and had to finish the story tomorrow (which is, of course, today by now for you).

    But the important thing is that we get to check in w/ you all the time! Hurray for Stacie in Bloggerland! Oh, and you have to tell us the story behind the word “SideOrderly.” Even if it’s just a three-sentence entry.

  10. Tony Says:

    Have you thought about trying opiates? That’ll kill your back pain. Plus, you won’t really care if your ass is hanging out the back of your paper gown. The only down side is the cost of the rehab you’re going to need after your hooked can bea bit pricy.

  11. Leslie Says:

    “I’ve never really been to a chiropractor…Well, I take that back.”

    I know there was no pun intended, but I couldn’t resist. 😉

    LOVE that you’re blogging, as your voice comes through loud-and-clear. Keep it coming! I’ll be reading!

    Love you,

  12. Cate Says:

    Hiya! I remember you! I’m glad you started up a blog again! 🙂 Welcome back!

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